La Wlooo!!!….Why Hello, Naked Egyptian Lady

Hello readers. Today, I have allowed my mind to wander back to the most obscene thing I saw this past week. And since I cannot write about the horrible fat lady who almost broke my side mirror while I drove past her – as she was walking in the middle of the road, or about the very very ugly Facebook baby that popped on my homepage a few days ago (and gave me quite a tremendous fright), I decided to be a little “less” politically incorrect and talk about the naked Egyptian lady that’s been circulating on the internet.

Whoop-di-doo! Naked Woman! This is going to be HOT . . . not!

To those of you who’ve seen the picture already, I know you’re disappointed. To those of you who would like to be briefed, please click here to see the uncensored photo(s) before we continue.

So, Aliaa Magda Elmahdy is a 20 year old Egyptian blogger who describes herself as an atheist. For the past five months, she’s been living with her boyfriend Kareem Amer who was sentenced to four years in a maximum security prison in 2006 for “criticizing Islam and defaming former president Hosni Mubarak.”

Uh! Such rebels! Who does Kareem think he is for daring to practice freedom of speech? He’s going straight to hell I tell you. Aliaa and Kareem, aka Bonnie and Clyde, aka enemies of the state, aka spawns of Satan, have managed to overshadow the sad and unfortunate events occurring in Egypt at the moment. While thousands, nay millions, are still attacking and hurting each other like savages, one woman decided to rebel in another way – by baring it all for the world to see.

My message to Aliaa: I am in awe at your courage (public nudity). Not because you made a statement against the oppression of your nation, but because of the following:

  • Posing nude (knowing that the World Wide Web is home to sick, ugly, frustrated cyber geeks who masturbate everyday to such images which they look for find online)
  • Wearing those hideous stockings and ballerinas with pride (bearing in mind that if the actual police doesn’t arrest you, Joan Rivers will send her team of Fashion Police to teach you a lesson)
  • Not making a visit to the waxing salon before taking that photo (if ya know what I mean)  
  • Daring to call it art (and not pornography)

Regardless of the above, I still tip my hat to Aliaa who definitely made her voice heard (even if her red ballerinas made a louder statement than her bare groin).

So what made Aliaa so upset? What pushed her to take such desperate measures? What statement was she, in fact, trying to make?

“Put on trial the artists’ models who posed nude for art schools until the early 70s, hide the art books and destroy the nude statues of antiquity, then undress and stand before a mirror and burn your bodies that you despise to forever rid yourselves of your sexual hangups before you direct your humiliation and chauvinism and dare to try to deny me my freedom of expression.”

That excerpt was taken from Aliaa’s personal blog. I apologize for not being able to elaborate further on what she is trying to say because I was (and still am) unable to decipher what she wrote, which seems to have been translated from Arabic on Google Translate. If I’m not mistaken, she is fighting for freedom of expression.

Most of the feedback was negative though. I am guessing that after hours of chronic masturbation, the cyber-pervs must have suddenly realized how angry they felt and did not hesitate to express it by using very hurtful words like “whore” (very creative, right?). Nearly all of the comments on Aliaa’s blog are threats, insults or opposing views with regards to what she did. A minority of viewers (most of whom live outside Egypt) encouraged her behavior because they want the world to move forward (silly me, I thought freedom of expression was already a human right). Many argued that although moving forward is crucial, this is not the way to do it. Many others also disputed that her photo is not art, but is instead, very vulgar and cheap pornography.

Many others didn’t even bother to figure out what the message is because they were too preoccupied with her nude private parts. I must have heard over 30 guys say things like the following:

“If only she were prettier . . . I’d support her cause.”

“If only she looked more like Adriana Lima . . . I’d give her my full support.”

“She has a nice bush.” (Pardon the crudeness, but the person who said this is half-alien)

“I don’t like her breasts.”

“She’s ugly.”

I don’t know what’s more disappointing – that men said things like that, or that I wasn’t surprised that they said things like that.

Also, many women had values all of a sudden and were tremendously offended . . . because they are angels themselves that have never posted provocative swimsuit photos on Facebook, or posed with pouty seductive facial expressions with the “oh oops my boob popped out . . .  but it’s okay, hihi” pose.

Yes, Aliaa went a bit overboard, but I think that the lack of moderation in her life pushed her to do this. She was living in repression for decades and decided to fight extreme oppression with excessive self-expression. We can all rest assured now knowing that Aliaa is most probably back to wearing clothes (minus those hideous red shoes I hope) – that’s if she wasn’t thrown in jail. For those of you who didn’t know, Egypt is one of the countries where online freedom of expression is prohibited. One can face imprisonment if the content they post on the internet is deemed provocative or offensive (especially if they’re attacking the state . . .  or simply opposing its regime). Our buddy Kareem (above) can tell you all about that.

My final message to Aliaa: Aliaa, I’m giving you a shout out. If you’re still alive, unraped and free, please do let us know. I for one, applaud you for your bold move (although I think a different approach could have been more effective) and I wish you and your country the best in the coming years.
I would also like to ask you why that nude man in your blog looks as though his scrotum is on the verge of castration. It was tremendously painful (and nauseating) to look at.

In any case, if there’s one thing we should learn from our naked Aliaa, it’s that we should never be afraid to do something we are passionate about. Whether it’s a new business venture, a career move, relocating to another country, speaking your mind when you know the other person(s) won’t like what you have to say, or even telling that special someone how you truly feel about them, all it takes is a little courage to make a big difference.

“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way to remember you have nothing to lose.” Steve Jobs


Before I go, I just wanted to say that – although out of context – it would be grand if obese women discovered sidewalks. Roads are for vehicles, and a tight two lane road simply does not have enough space for such big entities to roam around freely on (possibly breaking side mirrors).
Also, there are some baby photos that just can’t-be-uploaded because one would think that hobbits exist and it would make life very confusing (and painful) for a few minutes. And no, I am not evil, I’m just traumatized.