La Wlooo!!!…Clubbing in Beirut City

Beirut has become synonymous with clubbing, partying, and drinking till you don’t have an ounce of energy left in your body. This is especially true during summer, when all these rooftop bars open up and all these tourists and foreign Lebanese come back to the country. Not only is the fun multiplied, but so is the chaos. Party time is indeed a time to let loose and enjoy yourself, when you don’t have to worry about anything or anyone. Of course we must all draw the line when we start bothering others or making a fool out of ourselves.

I’ll call this week’s entry “Clubbing Etiquette 101”:

For Him:

1. If you’re sitting at the bar, it would be exceptionally weird to order one beer during the four hours that you’re there. I’m not saying you’re cheap *awkward silence*, I’m only saying that it’s impossible not to get thirsty at all in four hours! Either order another drink or make room for others who are yearning to sit at the bar to: drink.
2. When you do drink (a lot) more than one beer, know your limits. There is nothing sexy about a drunk. When you think you’re walking straight, think again. When you think you’re funny, you’re actually loud and obnoxious. When you think you look sexy, find a mirror.
3. Always remember to vomit in the bathroom or in private (when/if needed). Always remember to deal with your aggression and anger issues before you leave your house. No one likes dealing with an angry drunk who wants to beat people up and push people around. This peasant-like behavior is unacceptable.
4. When you drop your drink on someone or break a glass (or five) on the table, always remember to apologize. A little apology goes a long way. The last thing you need is bad energy when you’re out having a good time.
5. Dress appropriately. No one cares if you’re a tourist or the owner’s cousin. If you’re wearing Bermudas and a Hawaiian shirt:
   a) No, the bouncers will not be letting you in. Surprised?
   b) The only attention you’ll be getting from women is laughter as they point in your direction (and not because you’re cute).
   Oh, and learn to button your shirt. We do not care to see acres and acres of your bare chest.

And for the crème de la crème:

6. Without a reservation, you are more than welcome to sit at the bar where you can still enjoy yourself; drink, dance, pick up chicks – whatever your heart desires. BUT, you may not crash a stranger’s table: acting like you’re friends with one of the people there, cramming their space, hitting on their women, drinking their alcohol, and leaving WITHOUT paying your share of the bill. This is the epitome of rudeness, obnoxiousness, and weirdness. You may feel that no one is noticing this, but there’s at least one person on the table smelling the crook on you . . . watching you, and losing all respect for you.

For Her:

1. No matter what happens, keep your shoes on. If your feet hurt, come in flats next time. The trick here is the following: when purchasing shoes, make sure you can walk in them – it shouldn’t be too complicated. That way, you can enjoy your evening while looking like a lady.
2. PDA is downright vulgar. We all understand how alcohol can alter your common sense, but there’s no need for such heavy make out sessions in public. It makes people uncomfortable and makes you look really easy and silly. Save it for later.
3. Know how to handle your alcohol. Make sure that by the end of the night you can still walk straight and form full sentences. Make sure that you don’t spill out all your emotions in the form of tears – no guy or girl is in the mood for that after a night of fun. Save it for your psychologist. It’s unladylike to vomit in public – regardless of who’s holding your hair. Hold it in till you reach a bathroom or better yet, know when to stop drinking.
4. Make sure your skirt covers your butt. ‘Nuff said.
5. Please don’t leave a mess in the ladies’ room. You’re ladies for God’s sake. Please don’t push and shove like a raving lunatic. Instead, try to learn the concept of a cue. Always remember that your bladder is in no way more important than everyone else’s. Also, staying in the stall for more than 5 minutes is simply unjustifiable!

For Him & Her:

1. We all want to dance and have a good time, or at least have a place to stand (or breathe); so please make sure to leave a bit of space on your table for the person next to you. This prevents drink-spilling, glass-breaking, cigarette-burning, or aggressive confrontations. Remember, we live and party among people, not undomesticated animals.
2. Dancing is so much fun. On the other hand, dancing like a circus monkey with its tail on fire is downright awkward.
3. Pushing, shoving, negative facial expressions, and stare-downs are just so unnecessary! Aren’t we all out to have a good time?

Enjoy your next night out in a fun, civilized, and responsible way. Cheers!

“Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat, It makes you lean….Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.”