How to Get the Worst Hangover of Your Life

It’s all fun and games until the morning-after rolls around and you’re lying on a spinning bed with your brain imploding and your stomach churning. What happened? We’ve all heard the tips on how to beat the enemy, the mighty hangover, but how did you get here in the first place? Where did you go SO SO wrong? 

If you want to have the worst, most massive hangover of your life, just don’t eat before drinking, don’t drink any water either, mix all kinds of alcohols together, and then drink them as quickly as possible. It’s pure misery in 4 easy steps! For those of you with a missing sarcasm-detector, PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS.

You CAN drink responsibly and moderately, have lots of fun, and still feel like being alive the next morning (and ready for another party). Preventing a hangover is always better than finding a cure, so here are 10 tips on prevention:

Tip 1: Make sure to eat before you start drinking to help with “soakage” and ease the effects of the alcohol.

Tip 2: Vitamins are your friend. Before drinking, this will help prevent a hangover and if you’re already hungover they will also help. The best ones to take are Vitamin B complex, B6 and B12.

Tip 3: Be a well-oiled machine. It’s gross but a spoonful of oil (or foods with lots of oil in them) help prevent the absorption of alcohol.

Tip 4: Milk it. Before you drink, having some milk is said to coat your stomach and also prevent alcohol absorption. It might be a myth, but in either case milk is still a great source of vitamin B (refer to Tip 2)

Tip 5: Stick to one thing. Don’t mix all kinds of alcohols together. Your body needs to break everything down and it’s enough of a struggle with one kind of drink, without having different types of elements to deal with.

Tip 6: The lighter the better, when it comes to the color of your alcohol. Apparently darker liquors like red wine, whisky, rum and others have toxins called congeners that make hangovers worse.

Tip 7: Pay more, it’s a good investment. More expensive liquors generally have less congeners so it’s a worthy financial investment to drink from pricier bottles.

Tip 8: Pace yourself. The rule is always one glass of alcohol, followed by one glass of water. That way you’re drinking less, and also countering the effects of the alcohol with water… and staying hydrated.

Tip 9: Don’t go for “diet” and fizzy mixers. Juice is your best option. Diet drinks don’t have any sugar so their effect is much stronger (and that includes your hangover). On the other hand mixing your drinks with any carbonated mixers increases the speed of alcohol absorption (for the same reason, champagne can have a strong effect as well.)

Tip 10: Before you go to bed, have lots of water and avoid caffeine because it can also dehydrate you, and lead to worsened hangover symptoms.