La Wlooo!!… Daddy’s Girl, “Bint el Pap”

After more than a decade of living in Lebanon, I found that dividing people up into genres makes it easier for me to identify and deal with them. Although we are all somehow Daddy’s Girls (and it is great), within this genre lies the most annoying species known to mankind: the LEBANESY “yiiyy yaaayy ya alla” Daddy’s Girl, also known as “Bint El Pap”. I came across this shocking species of girls a few months ago (the 8th world wonders) and wanted to share the horror with you.

Bint El Pap is . . . useless. All she cares about is appearances, so she invests every ounce of her time and energy into looking good. Ironically, she has zero sense of style and at 20, ends up looking like a 45 year old woman. Even when going out for coffee, Pap’s Girl will wear all her makeup and accessories, her highest heels, and madame-like clothes (adequate for attending a wedding). Since these Pap’s Girls only care about flaunting brands, most of what they wear is fake; but they will continue to show off at how they spend over 10,000 US dollars on shopping each month (here’s a tip: people that specify the amount of money without being asked, are peasants!)

Whenever Pap’s Girl buys or might buy something new, she announces it to all humanity. In her nagging voice (made of the heaviest matter) she asks, “yyyyyiiiiiiiiiiiiiii . . . What car should I buyyyyyyyyy? This one? That one? The other one? The next one?” (As if anyone cares)
After being asked about her budget, she pompously refers to herself in the third person and responds, “Yyyyyiiiiiiiiii walawwwwww?? Bint el Pap ma 3anda budget 3end el Pap” (translated: Me, airhead. Pap, Bill Gates).

Among the other things that Pap doesn’t set a budget for, is a new nose for his stunning petite goat. She gets rhinoplasty and/or breast enlargement surgery done before she is 18. The sooner she stops looking like she has a bird’s beak instead of a nose, the sooner she can start blossoming into the divine flower that she is. She will also undergo full body laser hair removal (since she is hairier than a baboon) and live on a never-ending diet so that her bum-bum continues to fit in her “designer” jeans.

Through all that hustle and bustle of being an attention wh*** and trying to look good, Binto Lal Pap forgets that she has a brain the size of a pea that is in dire need of development. Since her hobbies are already showing off, shopping, and getting surgery done, she will have no time to do anything of substance; in brief:

Instead of getting cultured, she prefers to gossip all day
Instead of playing sports, she prefers to forever diet
Instead of traveling, she prefers to show off in Lebanon (big fish, little pond)
Instead of living her age and enjoying it, she acts like a constipated 50 year old
Instead of focusing on her education and career, she focuses on finding a husband

While practically everyone around her is traveling, completing their education, and/or working, Pap’s girl is busy desperately trying to find a husband by dating a new guy every other week. She continuously tries to convince her friends, “YYiiii, use your brain! Stay in Lebanon, don’t waste your time; find a husband. No good girl travels and leaves her country! Ma 3enna baneit heik!” (Excuse me while I go scream)

On that note, Pap’s Girl’s family is nouveau riche and her parents don’t want her as a financial burden after she turns 22, so she must RUN and find a husband to take over with all the payments.

To make matters worse, Pap’s Girl simply refuses to work as an employee after she graduates. Her daddy will give her an amount of money to start up “her own little business”, and following the Lebanese trend, it would probably involve designing shoes, bags, or dresses (with no sense of style and no brains at all, Pap’s Girl will excel!).

To this genre of girls I say, shame on you! This is 2010 – we are not in Amish country, and it is bimbos like you that give girls a bad name.

To all girls reading this I say, whether you’re rich or poor, daddy’s girl or not, 22 or 32, never ever underestimate yourself. Invest more time in “you”; your education, your work, your lifestyle – and before you start thinking of finding a man other than your dad to support you, remember that you can support yourself. You are capable of doing anything you want; running any business, fulfilling any dream.

No matter what, just don’t follow in the footsteps of the disgraceful peasants I just wrote about; it would be a waste of your existence and another reason for men to disrespect you in the long run.

“Beauty isn’t worth thinking about; what’s important is your mind. You don’t want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.” Garrison Keillor

By Rita Dahdah