Following last week’s “La Wlooo”, which was dedicated to attacking women’s behavior in relationships, I simply couldn’t let the guys feel left out; so as I promised, here are ten pointers that men should take into consideration during courtship:
1. You complain she’s a gold digger, yet you take out a car loan to flaunt your expensive ride and live a showoff-ish lifestyle that you can barely afford because “that’s the only way she’ll ever look at you” – Ha! Well, what kind of girl were you expecting? The saddest part is, some men end up marrying these women. It’s simple, if you want someone true, keep it real!
2. You are NOT her father! You should never tell her how to dress, talk, eat, or laugh. Never tell her who she can’t talk to, and don’t smother her with constant phone calls when she’s out with friends. She has a brain of her own and knows her boundaries – if she doesn’t, then she’s not the girl for you.
3. You are not her bodyguard; if there’s a guy who is up in her business, she can take care of it – and don’t interfere unless she asks you to. There is nothing more vulgar than a guy starting a public fight to defend HIS macho ego.
4. A little jealousy is nice – too much is borderline psychotic. You have no right to accuse her of being a whore because she has male friends – it’s not like she is fornicating with them for Pete’s sake! When in doubt, hear her side of the story before transforming into the mighty Hulk.
5. An Ex is an Ex. IF they are on good terms and he shows you no disrespect, you simply cannot “forbid” her to talk to him. He is a part of her past and was around long before you, so suck it up! She is with YOU now and there is a very good reason for that.
6. Never inquire about her past. Step 1: stay away from the obvious whores. Step 2: she is either an honest person or not, and whether or not she chooses to convey details to you is her decision. Step 3: instead of focusing on her past so much, try focusing on how she is with you, you moron!
7. NEVER take her for granted. If you happen to be one of the lucky few that found one of the last good Lebanese girls, you better treat her like a princess (she will appreciate it). If you treat her like a doormat, chances are she’ll still stick around because she loves you so much – but keep in mind that there are 486 guys out there who would worship her, you ungrateful swine.
8. Never act stingy. This is probably one of the most vomit-inducing characteristics in a guy. If she’s a nice girl, she will not allow you to pay every time and she will love any meaningful gift you get her, but do not make it a habit to buy her a cheap gift on her birthday and empty her wallet every time you “take her out”. Get a job or get out of the relationship!
9. Chivalry is NOT dead – so don’t kill it. It is always a breath of fresh air when you open the door for your lady, pull back her chair at a restaurant, walk beside her while entering a venue instead of jolting right in as if you have a rocket up your butt. (Romantic gestures are always good; being Shakespearean gay is bad!)
10. You are not a semi-gay Ken Doll, you are a man. Every woman loves a confident man, but there is a very fine line between narcissism and self-confidence, so please refrain from giving yourself compliments every 2.5 minutes while you adore your reflection in the mirror.
Since most of the men reading this would have probably spaced out by now after throwing obscene remarks at what I wrote, I will leave you with these loving words: Being a man is not determined by your hot temper or your hot ride; if you’re a real man, you’ll get yourself a real lady because a real lady can spot a real man at “hello” (So work a little on your approach, coz a little bit goes a long way).
“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” Oscar Wilde
By Rita Dahdah