We spend most of our lives looking for the right woman, yet when we find her, we hesitate. We fail to take that necessary step before we can truly call her our own.
What exactly that step may be varies between couples, just as it varies between the stages in any relationship. You’d think that once you make some sort of commitment, the next commitment you need to make would be easier — that’s not usually the case.
Whether you’re deciding to call your girl your girlfriend, to tell her you love her, to have her move in with you or to call her your wife, these are all decisions you’ll need to inevitably make.
Hesitation is not your friend. Sure, you need to give such decisions sufficient thought, but you should never hesitate without true cause; real men don’t do that.
Real men make the difficult decisions because they understand such decisions need to be made. A real man won’t hesitate when he finds the right woman because:
He understands how lucky he really is.
A real man is an experienced man; he’s been through enough failed relationships and met enough wrong women that when he meets the right woman, he knows what he’s found.
He won’t hesitate because — as far as he’s concerned — he just won the lottery, and what guy waits to cash in the winning ticket?
Why would he wait to tell her how much she means to him? He just doesn’t see a point.
Luck doesn’t last forever, and he should feel the need to lock her down before some other guy manages to wiggle his way in between them.
With billions of people on this planet, finding someone whom you believe you can share your life with is surprisingly rare.
Just as lightning doesn’t often strike the same place twice, neither does he want to take the gamble by rolling the die once more.
He’s mature enough to face commitment.
It’s not necessarily that he doesn’t fear commitment — most individuals do — it’s that he is ready to take that plunge nonetheless. He’s ready to make all the tradeoffs required because he believes his woman is more than worth it.
He may fear commitment, but he doesn’t run from it; he faces his fear — like a man should. Likewise, he may be more than ready to commit, with no frightening thoughts whatsoever.
He may want nothing more than to settle down and love his woman with all his heart. He may be ready to devote himself and his life to her. Regardless of whether or not he fears commitment, as long as he’s ready to dedicate himself to her, he’s a real man.
He wants her to understand how wonderful she is and how much she means to him.
Most people, for whatever confused reason, believe that a woman understands how much she means to you. Sadly, the exact opposite more often proves to be true.
Unless she’s some sort of oracle, you need to use your words — and your actions. You need to be there for her, tell her you love her and show her how much she means to you.
A real man understands this and, moreover, understands how important it is for his partner to know he loves her.
Hesitation shows her your uncertainty. It shows that although you may say you’re going to always be there for her, you may very well one day get up and leave.
You may feel as if hesitation is unnoticeable, but in reality, it often causes incredible damage.
He’s afraid of losing her.
That’s right. A real man is afraid of losing the woman he loves and is not at all scared to admit it. When you meet the right woman, you should be afraid of losing her, whether it be to another person or to one of life’s many tragedies. He’s afraid.
She has become his life, and if he were to lose her, he’d lose himself — the person who she’s helped him become. She’s just as much a part of him as he is a part of himself.
He’s afraid for the woman he loves and accepts his fear; he embraces it. He allows it to guide him and help him understand how important this woman truly is to him.
Real men fear — they fear more than the rest. It’s not sign of weakness, but rather a sign of self-understanding.
He believes she deserves the world, and he wants to give it to her.
He wants to be the one to take her places, to have her try new foods, wines and adventures. He wants to be her first in as many experiences as possible because, just as she is a part of him, he wishes to become a part of her.
He wants her to one day look back and reminisce about all her wonderful adventures and smile — that’s all he cares about. He cares about making her smile, about her being happy with herself, her life, her experiences and her decisions.
Deciding whom you’re going to spend your life with is arguably the most important decision a person makes in his or her life.
What real men refuse to become is the reason she regrets the way she’s spent the few days on this earth allotted to her. On the contrary, he wants to be the reason she has no regrets.
He can’t think of a single reason to wait a minute longer.
Not any good reasons, at least. Of course, we can always come up with excuses or conjure up make-believe and highly-improbable scenarios, delusions even, in order to avoid the possibility of heartbreak. Real men don’t do that, however, cowards do.
He can’t think of a single good reason to hesitate, to wait a moment longer before showing her exactly how he feels, because there is none. She is the right woman. If he wishes to be the right man, he must decide to be — and that starts with taking that first step.
Most often, people choose to be blind to all the good reasons to leave, to call it quits. Most relationships are doomed to fail because they are between two individuals who can’t possibly work together.
But when you find the right person, there are no good reasons to resist.
We may come up with bullsh*t excuses, but they are only excuses. A real man is honest with himself. When he knows he’s found the one, he makes her the one.
BeirutNightLife is not responsible for the comments that users post below.