Is kissing more intimate than sex?
It’s always the seemingly simple question that’s the most wildly complex and loaded with deeper hidden implications.
Kisses are far more intimate than sex.
Sex doesn’t always need feelings. The hard truth is, you can have sex without even looking your sexual partner in the eye.
You can bask in the erotic pleasure of an orgasm; you can close your eyes and imagine you’re f*cking someone else, and you can indulge in the animalistic pleasures that are nothing but sexual excitement.
But kisses are built on nothing but feelings.
When you’re kissing, you have nothing in the world to hide behind. You’re at your most vulnerable.
When else is your face so direly close to another’s? When else in your life are you in a situation when you have the opportunity to look at another person so closely?
When else do you literally find yourself sharing the same breath (after all, breaths are the force of life!) with somebody else?
The greater, deeper, looming question is: What exactly is intimacy? Is it strictly sexual? Or is it something more than just f*cking?
True intimacy is revealing the rawest, real, most stripped-down version of yourself to your partner. It’s allowing your formerly protective self to get close to another person, both physically and mentally. It’s taking in a person’s scent, to bask in a person’s taste and crawl into a person’s f*cking heart.
Kissing encompasses all of that. Kissing is the great metaphor for intimacy. We allow the essence of a person to land on our tongues, and as we kiss, we breathe each other in — the good and the bad.
There are so many different styles of kissing: soft, sweet kisses that express affection and adoration; passionate, press-you-up-against-the-wall, I-want-to-crawl-inside-of-your-skin-and-devour-your-soul kisses; slow, emotional kisses that attain apologies and fuel you with irrepressible sweeps of impassioned love that cut you to the core; explorative kisses, where your tongue navigates the insides of another person and attempts to figure out the roadmap of who he or she is.
Any one of these kisses is rich with healing powers. Any one of them allows me to work through my deep-rooted issues with vulnerability and my fear of exposing the softer sides of myself by letting someone into the most vulnerable part of my body: my mouth.
While kissing can be madly sexual and most definitely segue into the most mind-blowing sex in the stratosphere, kissing, by itself, is loaded with far more depth and meaning than sex.
You can’t lock lips with another human for endless hours unless you have feelings for him or her beyond the realm of sexual attraction. Kissing is where the love, the passion, the FEELINGS are wildly expressed.
And that, my sweet kittens, is a triumph far more intimate than simple, nameless, removed sex could ever be.