Lebanese Football fans gave a whole new meaning to the FIFA World Cup 2010. Here are the guidelines they followed in order to transform football fever into a tribal battle.
1. You are either a German or Brazilian Fan: because you have no knowledge of football whatsoever and no clue about what other teams are playing.
If you are a German fan, you have the right to be angry (not sure why), and hold up a German flag or preferably a Nazi flag (because God forbid that Lebanese people go one day without affiliating everything with some form of politics).
“How can you not love the home of Mercedes Benz, BMW, Michael Shumaker, and Hitler?” said a German fan. Jeez, such deep relevance! Bear in mind that 80% of these hardcore fans have never been to Germany and are in no way linked to the country.
If you are a Brazilian fan, there is no need for a sweater. If you get cold, just wrap a Brazilian flag around your shoulders. You are the cheery, samba-dancing, ‘carnaval’ folk that wears yellow to every game, so that street lights (and/or the sun) aren’t needed anymore. You tell tales of how babies in Rio play football in the sand every day before they learn to walk. “Have you ever been to Brazil?” “Oh no, but I’ll be going in 2014 for the next World Cup – and my great, great, great grandmother is Brazilian”, said a delusional Brazilian fan.
2. When your team wins:
When Germany wins (or whenever Brazil, Italy, and Argentina lose), every anti-German Blackberry user receives broadcast messages, informing them how of much their teams stink, suck, and don’t deserve to live, breathe, or play football – some will even ‘heil’ Hitler (again, such deep relevance!).
[I switched from cheering for Italy to Brazil to Argentina to Spain, solely for the love of the game (yeah right!). So, I lived through the humiliation 4 different times, during which I was verbally attacked by German fans. (why all the anger?!)]
When Brazil wins, fans begin to cry (literally) and hug each other while proudly stating that this is how the gods play football. They will send countless meaningless blackberry broadcast messages like “when samba plays, samba wins” . . . How cheesy! It’s a football game, not a dance academy.
As a result, the blackberry service will freeze for a few hours, leaving all Blackberry users lost, confused, and panicky.
After this, it is time to take to the streets. As if we haven’t all already seen too many mopeds in Brazermany (a.k.a. Lebanon), they somehow multiplied during the World Cup season. I believe there is some sort of “moped/waz-waz” association that summons these gangs to ride together all over the traffic infested streets, creating a ruckus with their foul language, loud voices, frustrating horns, and migraine-inducing vuvuzelas so that they annoy every person from Beirut to Tripoli. All is fair in love and football – including fireworks and gun shots in residential areas. Should the tribes come in contact with one another, we’d be reminded of the movie “Gangs of New York” (but even those gangs were more civilized than the vuvu tribes of Brazermany).
3. When your team loses:
When Brazil loses, it’s no problem; Argentina will suffice. Although both teams absolutely detest each other, they are neighbors; so in the eyes of the Lebanese fans it automatically means Brazil = Argentina. One hour after the ex-Brazilian fans buy the Argentinean flags, Argentina loses in the most embarrassing game ever, but the Brazintineans remain hopeful, for they have already bought flag number 3: Spain. Most were thinking that Spain is another one of Brazil’s neighbors – wow! (seriously??!!)
When Germany loses, there is only one logical reason for that, and thus one logical solution: KILL PAUL THE OCTOPUS!!! There were petitions pleading to spare that poor mollusk’s life!! After their loss, German fans still go out to the streets and ‘celebrate’ because “In their eyes, Germany won!” Tsk tsk. Days later, some buy Spanish flags, and others buy Dutch flags – and this marks the end of the Brazermany Era . . . for now.
This behavior just comes to show that Lebanese people love to fight about the silliest things! The uncivilized behavior demonstrated during football season was worse than the behavior of hooligans and cave men – at least hooligans are cheering for their own country’s teams, and cave men didn’t know about being civilized! That being said, if only we’d all learn to love Lebanon and each other as much as we love football, maybe this country could start becoming a better place. Football or no football, I cheer for my country, Long Live Lebanon!
“Civilization is just a slow process of learning to be kind.” Charles L. Lucas
By Rita Dahdah
For more images on the World Cup Fever:
http://www.beirutnightlife.com/world-cup-2010/
Shortlink:
Posted by Mahmoud Abdullah
on July 19, 2010. Filed under Featured, News.
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Nice conclusion!!!xxxx
tony
July 19, 2010 at 12:48 PM
i bet you are no better than the people you are describing. you tend to over generalize and over exaggerate things. i didn’t like this article. it is full of shit. try finding a more interesting topic next time. good luck cz you need it.
peace
jamie
July 19, 2010 at 2:43 PM
“Oh no, but I’ll be going in 2014 for the next World Cup – and my great, great, great grandmother is Brazilian”, said a delusional Brazilian fan.
is it Albert
?
Maya Akra
July 19, 2010 at 3:19 PM
Hey Jamie, why the rude comment? Are you one of the Brazintineans or the Hitlerians o.O?? Hehe
Well, I don’t think she over exaggerated here. After witnessing all what happened during the world cup, I’d say she’s being more objective and patriotic than she’s ever been. Lol
And abt the topic, she writes each week a new article. And its like she wrote about what she saw recently. It’s just a spontaneous article/ topic
I know it is your own opinion and that every writer that writes should bear the consequences/ slash harsh criticisms… but I am stating here my own opinion, and I am in turn criticizing your own opinion, cz you too wrote smthing.
Just sayiinnn hehe
Coughage Ghitaa!!
Maya Akra
July 19, 2010 at 3:50 PM
Jamie, If you think this article is full of shit then you are definitely one of the people she described. I think she was being too kind and under stated what really happens. Bravo Rita, you really nailed them and I can tell by JAMIE’s rude comments lol. Great work girl!! I love your topics!!
Rania L.
July 19, 2010 at 5:59 PM
hehehehe thanks guys
your feedback always means a lot to me!
Rita D.
July 19, 2010 at 6:33 PM
“if only we’d all learn to love Lebanon and each other as much as we love football, maybe this country could start becoming a better place.”
loolll that is the wish of all the lebanese and somehow it is not working.. it’ll never happen…we won’t see that day, our children won’t, and our children’s children won’t either…sad but true
Nice one pou! though i would really like to read an exclusive article about waz-wazs..loooolll after all as much as i hate to admit it, they constitute an important part of our culture
Talar
July 19, 2010 at 7:40 PM
you got some points right and some of them wrong, many brazilian or german fans do know about football, some ppl watch football every week u know? its not all about the world cup some germany and brazilian fans tend to watch leagues , champions league , euro and europa league. i agree with jamie ur exaggerating, those ppl that tend to hit the streets and say heil hitler and samba and bla bla dont deserve to be football fans, so you shouldnt generalize saying all people are either with germany or brazil because they dont know about football, what do u expect ppl to sheer for Japan ? ghana ? plus its sports and teasing fans is a funny thing to do during the world cup, if u wanna cheer for lebanon then keep waiting 400 years till we even pass the first qualification phase of Asia Lol.
Michel
July 19, 2010 at 10:12 PM
No matter what you write i shall heil hitler & have paul for dinner until the next world cup you one of a kind pasta !!!
elkanaan
July 19, 2010 at 11:49 PM
thank you Michel, that’s exactly what i meant. she’s over generalizing. she has no right to put all Lebanese into predefined boxes and label them. this is rude.
jamie
July 20, 2010 at 2:14 PM
I’m a football fan, an Argentina religious fan to be precise, mostly because I lived there where I played football for years and lived the previous World Cup among fellow argentines.
However I still think she is not over exaggerating, that’s the reality, we all saw it on the streets of Lebanon. She’s not saying all Lebanese are that way, but certainly lots of them did what she described, and I can assure you the ones that took a step too far do not understand football, perhaps they need to feel pertaining to something, like a kid wanting to be part of the “cool” group in school, and thus would do obscene things to be noticed.
Naji K.
July 21, 2010 at 5:51 AM
So Jamie, honestly, you thought Rita was “rude”? Have you read what you first wrote? “i didn’t like this article. it is full of shit. try finding a more interesting topic next time. good luck cz you need it”. I think “rude” is certainly an understatement in what you wrote, while trying to express your “opinion”. One has serious issues when writing with such violent and aggressive words.
I believe you are somewhere, deep down, angry and jealous that Rita, a woman, can write extremely well, which allows her to communicate with the world, share her ideas, contribute to the society in some way, and you can’t.
I would bet, as well, that you do not possess any special skills (or more precisely you are too lazy to discover and exploit your skills), that you didn’t have a great education, and you are thus throwing that anger at her, unnecessarily.
It is a well written article. In the world of proper writing, you do not have to repeatedly state that “you are not generalizing”, or that “some people are not that way though many are”, it should be suggested once or simply insinuated, just like in her article. You have to learn how to read before you criticize.
I’d like to see you write an article expressing your valid opinion and how you viewed the Lebanese reaction to the World Cup fever.
Naji K.
July 21, 2010 at 6:12 AM
Hahahahha love it!!
Jamie and Michel, I feel I must remind you that this is a light mockery of society, and as I recall neither of your names were mentioned in the article (ofcourse after reading your comments I think you’d both fit right in;)) so don’t be so anal about it, no need to be cry babies now, this is the 21st century and this is what we call freedom of speech. Oh but please do keep the angry comments coming, you make this so much more fun!
Looking forward to your next article Rita! Keep up the good work, you make us lebanese, or should I say brazermanteneans proud loool!
Rose D
July 21, 2010 at 9:34 AM
u ppl are funny , what does being patriotic and lebanon and all that bla bla about being patriotic has to do with the world cup?? so if lebanon doesnt play in the world cup we dont have to watch it? let me tell u that most arab countries even americans and australians watch the world cup and support either germany brazil and argentina or italy. This lebanon thing is really ridiculous we are talkin about football and great teams playing football but some of u are just silly and try to be the COOL ppl by being different and raise the lebanese flag while the World cup isnt about being patriotic at all LOL its only about football and enjoying it, and believe me when Lebanon goes to the world cup ill be cheering for the team. oh and btw when u dont know me dont judge me, i never hit the street , although id rather hit the street for the WC game rather than a politician calling his sheeps to gather
. but i want to ask a question, what is bothering her if ppl cheer for those teams and do whatever they want ? isnt it called freedom too ? 
if she doesnt like it so she just has to ignore it , right ??
Michel
July 21, 2010 at 8:40 PM