Have you men ever wondered what you may have done wrong to make her stop answering your calls? Did she go from super infatuated to super disgusted in 48 hours? Below are some stupid mistakes men tend to make in the early stages of dating someone. To those who are clueless, read and learn.To those who know but choose to ignore, read and be reminded of how unpleasant you are.
1. The Eager Beaver: Seriously, don’t act like you’re going to pop a vein in your neck just to please us. We appreciate gentlemen and chivalrous behavior, but we also feel like you’re insecure when you’re trying too hard to be nice. Do not choke on your water while laughing to a lame joke of ours. Do not shower us with compliments every five minutes as if you have an OCD of some sort: *drinks beer* “You’re so pretty,” *turns off radio* “You’re so funny,” *drives car* “You’re amazing”. The trick here is to make us earn our compliments. Women like a good challenge too.
2. The Sex-Obsessed: Obviously, we want to be sexy. We want you to find us sexy and have all sorts of dirty thoughts. We certainly do not want to remind you of your mother, but we also do not want to be pounced on by horndogs. A horndog is a man that will call a woman at 4 am to express his feelings of horniness and how she can help in that department . . . after a first date. A Horndog is a guy that has crazy hands after your first dinner together. A horndog is a guy that will keep pushing for sex by making the girl feel guilty for not putting out. A horndog’s approach is usually – and generally – an EPIC FAIL. Before a girl gives herself to a guy, she likes to know that he’s interested in her personality and not just her body. The trick here is to pace yourself. Give every stage the amount of time it needs . . . even sex. When you do eventually get her into bed, please do not reenact your favorite porno movie. NOT sexy.
3. The Possessive Papa: When you’re in a fresh relationship, try your best not to turn into the mighty hulk because it’s such a major turn off and red flag for us women. Imagine this scenario: You watched the game with the boys, and obviously since your woman has a life of her own, she goes out drinking with some friends. Your game finishes and you realize she’s still out (although it isn’t even midnight yet) so you call her. She doesn’t pick up. You call her again, once, twice, eight times . . . no answer. You BBM her, text her, Facebook her, tweet to her – at this point you’ve approached her from every angle (like a stalker) telling her things like, “Who the heck are you with? Are you cheating on me? Who’s the guy? What are you doing till this hour? Who are you doing till this hour?”
At this point, she’s thinking “Oh my Gosh . . . FREAK!” and you’re lucky if she doesn’t run as far away from you as possible. The trick here is to call once or twice tops, and then wait for her to call you back. Don’t make a grand reaction or dramatic speech – act cool and keep your composure. She’ll even be surprised and intrigued at how self-confident and in control you are.
4. The Cheap Creep: No matter how modern and independent a woman is, and even if she makes a good living and pays all her bills herself, she will still judge how much a man likes her depending on how many times he pulls out his wallet. While decent women are happy paying every three or four dates, making a woman pull out her wallet too soon is a major turn off. This sends a message to us that you are definitely not the type of man we see ourselves with, whether it’s now or 10 years from now.
You may never, under any circumstance, allow a woman to pay on a first date – or what’s even worse “split the bill”. This has nothing to do with women being shallow or materialistic . . . this is about men being chivalrous, debonair gentlemen. The trick here is to always remember the basics, be old school and charming; be a gentleman. You don’t need to take her out to the most expensive restaurant, but make sure you take her somewhere where you can afford to pay for dinner yourself. It’s not about your money, it’s about your generosity.
5. The Ex-Oriented: Never forget that women and men come from different schools of thought. While men may perceive another man to be challenging, women get disgusted by another woman being in the picture – especially if it’s the Ex. NEVER talk about your Ex. We don’t want to know how amazing she was or how she broke your heart or listen to the sob story of how you don’t know how things went wrong. We are not your buddy, and even your buddies might find you pathetic if you’re still dwelling on your Ex months after you’ve broken up.
Three words: GET OVER IT.
It is unsexy to listen to you whining about another woman. It emasculates you. We also cannot bear the thought of dealing with all that extra baggage. Our aim in life is not to make you forget an old love and heal your wounds and help you fly again, we want someone who is in top shape so we don’t have to worry about breaking his fragile heart or hurting his sensitive feelings. We want an alpha male.
6. The Beer Buddy: It’s crucial to have fun with your woman and enjoy good conversation with her. It’s very important to be comfortable around each other and feel as though you are friends and can talk about almost anything together. BUT, what some men fail to understand is that treating a woman like she’s one of the guys is a complete no-no. It’s very bizarre when you start talking to us about that woman’s fine ass or start burping after every meal and insist on farting while watching TV. Would you like it if a woman took you on a tour of her endometrium while she explained how she will be shedding blood in 3 days? Or if she spilled her heart out to you about how her left breast is larger than her right one . . . or how her manicurist filed her nails wrong or how she’s considering anal bleaching.
Trick here is: You do not have sex with your male buddy (granted you’re not homosexual). Hence, try to keep your farting and burping to yourself. Always remember that a woman is a woman and not one of your dudes. Continue treating her like a woman no matter what. Whether it’s how you speak to her or how you treat her. Don’t be a slob!
7. The Cocky-Dudle-Doo: I have recently learned a new piece of trivia about parrot training. While training a parrot, you must keep it at a level below yours so that it does not forget that you are the master. If you extend your finger to it while the parrot’s at a higher level, it will bite your finger. The trick here is to put the parrot on the ground where it feels more vulnerable; when you extend your finger now, the parrot will climb onto it instead – Job well done.
This is where the term “Cocky” comes from. Men tend to confuse self-confidence with cockiness. There’s nothing sexier than a self-confident man, someone who knows that he does not need to exude arrogance and behave as though he’s better than everyone else in order to gain admiration. A self-confident man is fair and has his feet firmly on the ground. A cocky man will always try to make the woman feel as though she’s lucky to have him or even to bask in his majestic presence; he will always try to be condescending. I say, get your feet back on the ground you measly little parrot because no woman enjoys being around a self-worshipping “man” with a God complex.
8. Sir Brag-a-lot: If you are privileged enough to have a sick house and an eye-catching ride, good for you. Your woman will eventually see all your expensive belongings and you’ll have more than enough time to impress her. If you have a killer job and an enviable education, you will also have plenty of time to talk about them and amaze her. But, it’s simply unacceptable to be sitting across from a woman on your first date while telling her, “Oh yes, I drive my Porsche to work because there’s a lot of traffic. I leave the Ferrari for the nighttime when I drive over to one of the clubs I own. Did I mention that I own an entire office building in the Downtown area? It is ten minutes away from my ten million dollar apartment. On the weekends I like sleeping in my boat while I’m cruising to Cyprus.” All this is said while flaunting your expensive watch.
The example given above – although an exaggeration – is the definition of “disgusting”. It’s the definition of what not to say on a first date or on any date for that matter.
If a woman has standards, values, a brain, and good taste, she will leave you in the middle of dinner and never talk to you again. She will never take your calls, and if you ever run into each other, she will run in the opposite direction as she tells her friend how much of a retard you are.
If she does happen to stick around, you may will notice a sparkle in her eyes, possibly shaped like a dollar sign surrounded by glittery stars, because this gold digger knows she’s hit the jackpot.
What baffles me is that men complain to me every day about how gold diggers are everywhere and cannot be avoided. What I’ve noticed is that those who complain the most are those who flaunt their expensive possessions the most. The trick here is to maintain an aura of mystery; let the woman explore and discover these things about you. First, you’ll filter out the gold diggers. Second, you’ll maintain your class and not seem like you’re nouveau riche and vulgar.
Yes, we women do have our flaws, but that doesn’t make men’s flaws any more acceptable; and in all fairness it will be the women’s turn next week.
Men have this thing about their ego; they will stop at nothing to prove that they’re indestructible, strong, rational beasts that are unaffected by women’s “manipulative attempts”. I bet if men had the chance to pound their chest while standing on the roof of a building, they’d do it just to flaunt their masculinity. We get it, you’re powerful creatures that cannot be swayed (bla bla), but that logic has nothing to do with being a gentleman. Being a gentleman is the biggest sign of power in a man. Knowing what pleases a woman is the biggest sign of wisdom in a man. Of course, the average man will have read a few lines of this and said “Bullocks! This is utter crap. Women are the problem here, not men.” And that my friends, is the typical reaction of a coward.
Remember, a man won’t get anywhere with a woman without possessing good manners and making some effort.
“A man who treats his woman like a princess is proof that he has been born and raised in the arms of a queen.”